ALCOHOL FOR FANTASY ROLE-PLAYING GAMES

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 NOT A TYPICAL ASSORTMENT OF WEAPONS


     A paradox exists to those who enjoy intoxicating beverages that
must attend places that serve intoxicating beverages: how can a person
enter combat when the person's combat weapons were checked at the door.
The solution would be to use a combat weapon that isn't considered a
weapon but rather a common item. Thus, this section provides
information for items that might not be considered weapons by most
people.
     Characters of any class who would become proficient in any of
these weapons would be indeed unique. A Fighter who swings a tankard
rather than a long sword would be a sight to see. One item mentioned
later is the Maltov Cocktail, a grenade filled alcohol that is lit and
then tossed at its target. A grenade weapon specialization and a few
cocktails would come in very handy against drunken adventurers and the
undead (hard to tell them apart).
     While on the subject of weapons, DM's should note that the
preferred weapon by tavern owners and employees who must keep the peace
is the crossbow which is usually kept behind the bar (cocked in the
more rowdier establishments).


                    Weight                 Speed      Damage
Item                (lb.)    Size   Type   Factor   S-M     L
Bottle, small         1       S      B       4      1d4+1  1d3
Bottle, large         2       S      B       4      1d6    1d3
Bottle, broken       1-2      S      P       2      1d4    1d3
Sling bullet, olive  1/4      S      B       -       -      -
Swizzle stick        1/4      S      P       2      1d3    1d2
Tankard               1       S      B       4      1d6    1d3

Casket, small        4 gal    L      B      10      1d6    1d4
Keg                  5 gal    L      B      10      1d6+1  1d4+1
Casket medium        6 gal    L      B      10      1d8    1d6
Casket, large        8 gal    L      B      10      1d10   1d8
Barrel, small       16 gal    L      B      12      2d8+2  1d6+2
Barrel, medium      24 gal    L      B      12      3d6+2  3d4+2
Barrel, large       32 gal    L      B      12      5d6+4  5d4+4

Table                30     (V)L     B      15      4d6    3d6


Bottle, small: The bottle can hold .5 gallon of liquid but the purpose
is not to be a container.

Bottle, large: The bottle can hold 1 gallon of liquid but the purpose
is not to be a container.

Bottle, broken: Whether large or small, this bottle works the same as a
piercing weapon. A person with a normal bottle can make a broken quite
easy by breaking it (of course the bottle must fail a saving throw).

Sling bullet, olive: The olive does no damage when used, but a
successful called shot (-4 attack modifier) to a target's eye will
temporarily blind him/her. Thereafter, the victim gets +4 to hit.

Swizzle stick: A swizzle stick is six inches in length and thin. It is
mainly used to stir drinks but in the hands of a clever person, can be
used as am effective weapon.

Tankard: A tankard is a large drinking cup usually with a handle and a
hinged cover. Many people who wield a tankard as a weapon like to have
a finely crafted tankard with magnificent artwork on it. Of course, a
good, old, solid tankard would work just as easily.

Containers: The various containers (Casket, small; Keg; Casket medium;
Casket, large; Barrel, small; Barrel, medium; Barrel, large) that
contain alcohol can make very effective missile type boulder weapons.
The stats given for the containers assume that the container is at
least half-full of liquid at the time of tossing. Strength bonuses
apply. DMs must make sure that the character is capable of lifting the
container and if so, be able to toss it to the required distance.

Table: This table is any large, wooden round thing that has 4 wooden
"legs" and a smooth surface. It is wielded by picking it up over your
head and throwing it in any certain direction. Hence the weight, it is
very hard to pick up. If it is thrown at a person with 19 strength and
over, that person smashed the table to bits before it hit (unless
surprised or didn't know the table was coming). Any sharp object is
stuck in the surface and any blunt object bounces off. After taking
about 2d6 points of damage in the same general spot it will smash into
bits in the next throw.


                     The Use of Alcohol as a Weapon

     The use of high-proof spirits can be a really effect weapon;
especially in a room illuminated by torches and candles. SPLASH! FOOM!
AAUUUGH! HA, HA, HA!.
     Put simply, flaming alcohol burns for two rounds, causing 2d6
points of damage in the first round and 1d6 points in the second round.
     Any container filled with alcohol can be used as a grenade-like
weapon. When created for the purpose of using it as a weapon, it is
referred to as a Maltov Cocktail.
     Lit alcohol used in a grenade-like missile can be considered the
same as lit oil. Of course, the alcohol must have a high alcohol
content to be flammable. For more information on grenade-like weapons
can be found on page 100 of the Player's Handbook and page 62 of the
Dungeon Master's Guide. If the player wishes to create a Maltov
Cocktail, the grenade-like stats for such a weapon are:

Type of Missile: Alcohol (Lit)
Type Amount: 16 oz.
Area of Effect: 3' diameter
Damage from Direct Hit: 2d6/1d6 hp
Splash Damage: 1d6/2 hp

     Alcohol causes damage only when it is lit. Thus, the character
must light the grenade (which must have some type of "fuse", i.e. cloth
sticking out, etc.). The lighting of the flask will result in a +4 to
the initiative (this is in addition to the +2 speed factor and any
range modifiers). This also assumes that the character has an available
source of fire close at hand.
     Most characters will light a cloth that is wrapped around the
grenade so that the alcohol will not light prematurely, but allow the
alcohol to burst into flame when the container is broken. Of course,
those that desire an open connection to the alcohol may do so. In this
case, vindictive DMs may have a percent chance equal to the character's
initiative multiplied by 5 that the fire will get into the alcohol
causing the character to drop it which would cause damage to him, for
example.  Another option of a character is that a character could make
two separate attacks: the first to throw the alcohol on thew target,
the second to throw fire on the target to light the alcohol. This is a
much safer way, but harder way. In any case, most proficient characters
opt to wrap a cloth around the grenade and light it before throwing it
because this is the safest way.

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GETTING TO KNOW YOUR BOOZE


               The cheapness of wine seems to be a cause,
                  not of drunkenness, but of sobriety.

                                                  --- Adam Smith

      I rather like the bad wine, one gets so bored with the good.

                                                  --- Mr. Mountchesney

               The best wine comes out of an old vessel.

                                                  --- Robert Burton

               So shall thy barns be filled with plenty,
             and thy presses shall burst out with new wine.

                                                  --- Proverbs 3:10


     There comes a time in an adventurer's life when he purchases,
finds, is offered, loots, or steals some form of alcoholic beverage.
Unfortunately, the description is boring and makes the substance as
common as water. In actuality, alcohol comes in many forms from many
places and is made by many people. To illustrate this diversity, the DM
can follow the below steps to give his alcohol a kick. The DM does not
have to obey the rolls. He may change what information he once, how he
wants. The steps and charts are only guidelines to assist a DM in
flavoring a campaign with a belt of some juice.

STEPS

1.   Roll on table 1 to decide the type of alcohol.

2.   Roll on the appropriate Made-By Table to decide who made the
beverage. If HUMANOID is rolled then roll on table 2F to decide what
creature did make it. If SPECIAL is rolled the DM must choose;
preferably an intriguing, exciting, and unique race.

3.   If the alcohol is beer, then roll on table 3 to decide what type
of beer it is.
     If the alcohol is wine, then roll on table 4 to decide what type
of wine. For light wine, roll on table 4A, 4B, and 4C to decide what
the color, taste, and flavor of the wine is. No sub-tables are provided
for fortified, sparkling, and aromatized wines. Most specifics on these
types of wines are named after real-world geographical locations and
would take away from the fantasy world. For example, Sparkling wines
could be broken down to Champagne, Astispumante, Burgundy, Moselle,
Saumur, and Catawba (to name a few). But these are named for geographic
locations on Earth. If DMs wish to have drinks like these in their
campaign, they should name it after a place and then give a description
of the drink to the players using the real world counterpart.
     If the alcohol is liquor, then roll on table 5 to decide what type
of liquor it is. If the liquor is brandy, roll on table 5C to decide
what type of brandy it is. If the liquor is whiskey, flip a coin to
decide if the whiskey is straight or blended. If the liquor is
coridial, the DM should decide what flavored this spirit because the
options are limitless.

4.   Roll on table 6 to decide the quality of the beverage. Price is
fixed to quality. Suggested prices aren't given because they will vary
in different societies and civilizations. Thus, the DM should decide
the price for a normal drink. A multiplier is given due to quality to
adjusted the price of equal worth. By doing so, it would be easy to
figure the price for almost any size of container. For example, if a
gallon of normal wine sells for 20 silver pieces; then a gallon of
excellent wine would sell for 2000 silver pieces (20 SP * 100). Thus,
any size container can be determined for a particular alcoholic drink.
One could also figure out what a small bottle (.5 gal.), or flask, of
alcohol would cost from any size. If a large casket of wine cost 1000
silver pieces; then a small bottle of the same wine would cost 62.50
silver pieces, a large bottle would be 125 silver pieces, etc..

5.   If a human made the alcohol, roll on table 7 to decide where the
it came from. If a race other than human made the alcohol, roll on
table 8 to decide where it came from. NOTE: These tables must be
created by the DM to suit his/her particular campaign world. The race
tables in the World of Greyhawk books work very nicely for that world.

7.   Table 9 is optional in deciding the container size. It is
recommended that you decide what the size is because size is depend on
the environment. For example, if an adventurer walks into a bar,
chances are there are no tuns of wine for sale but a large bottle is
readily available.


TABLE 1: Type Of Alcohol

01-20     Beer
21-40     Ale
41-60     Mead
61-80     Wine
81-00     Liquor


                             MADE-BY TABLES


TABLE 2A: Beer Made By

01-40     Human
41-65     Dwarf
66-75     Humanoid
76-85     Halfling
86-95     Gnome
96-99     Elf
 00       Special


TABLE 2B: Ale Made By

01-40     Dwarf
41-65     Gnome
66-75     Halfling
76-85     Human
86-95     Elf
96-99     Humanoid
 00       Special


TABLE 2C: Mead Made By

01-40     Elf
41-65     Human
66-75     Halfling
76-85     Gnome
86-95     Dwarf
96-99     Humanoid
 00       Special


TABLE 2D: Wine Made By

01-40     Elf
41-65     Human
66-75     Halfling
76-85     Gnome
86-95     Dwarf
96-99     Humanoid
 00       Special


TABLE 2E: Liquor Made By

01-40     Humanoid
41-65     Human
66-75     Dwarf
76-85     Gnome
86-95     Halfling
96-99     Elf
 00       Special


SUB-TABLE 2F: Humanoid

01-10     Bugbear
11-20     Gnoll
21-30     Goblin
31-40     Giant
41-50     Half-orc
51-60     Hobgoblin
61-70     Lizard Man
71-80     Ogre
81-90     Orc
91-00     Troll


                            SPECIFIC TABLES


TABLE 3: Type of Beer

ROLL      TYPE           DESCRIPTION
01-20     Lager          pale, medium-hop-flavored beer
21-40     Bock           heavy, rich, dark-brown beer
41-60     Stout          very dark beer
61-80     Porter         mixture of ale and beer
81-00     Malt Liquor    fruity, spicy, highly-alcoholic beer


TABLE 4: Type of Wine

01-39     Light
40-59     Fortified
60-79     Sparkling
80-00     Aromatized


TABLE 4A: Color of Wine

01-33     Red
34-67     White
68-00     Rose


TABLE 4B: Taste of Wine

01-40     Sweet
41-75     Medium
76-00     Dry


TABLE 4C: Flavor of Wine

01-03     Apple
04-06     Apricot
07-09     Ashberry
10-12     Banana
13-15     Blackberry
16-18     Blueberry
19-21     Cantaloupe
22-24     Cherry
25-27     Cranberry
28-30     Dandelion
31-33     Date
34-36     Elderberry
37-39     Elfberry
40-42     Fig
43-45     Grape, blue
46-48     Grape, green
49-51     Grape, red
52-54     Grape, purple
55-57     Grape, white
58-60     Potato
61-63     Peach
64-66     Pear
67-69     Plum
70-72     Prune
73-75     Raspberry
76-78     Strawberry
79-81     Watermelon
82-84     Wildberry
85-00     choose (preferably a grape type)


TABLE 5: Type of Liquor

01-20     Brandy
21-40     Whiskey
41-60     Rum
61-80     Gin
81-00     Cordial (Liqueur)


TABLE 5A: Type of Brandy

01-19     Cognac
20-29     Armagnac
30-39     Apple Jack
40-49     Kirsch (Cherry)
50-59     Mirabelle (Plum)
60-69     Slivovitz
70-74     Absinthe
75-79     Benedictine
80-00     ROLL ON TABLE 4C for the flavor of the brandy


TABLE 6: Quality

ROLL      TYPE           PRICE MULTIPLIER
01-05     Terrible              .01
06-15     Very Poor              .1
16-35     Poor                   .5
36-65     Normal                  1
66-85     Good                   10
86-95     Very Good              50
96-00     Excellent             100


TABLE 9: Size of Container

Bottle, small             .5 gallon
Bottle, large              1 gallon
Jug, small                 2 gallons
Jug, large                 3 gallons
Casket, small              4 gallons
Keg                        5 gallons
Casket medium              6 gallons
Casket, large              8 gallons
Barrel, small             16 gallons
Barrel, medium            24 gallons
Barrel, large             32 gallons
Tun                      250 gallons

[cloudrf]

SPELLS WITH A TWIST OF LIME


               Brave men and good wine last a short time!

                                                  --- Anon

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                                 Mages

Cantrip
Ferment Grape
Know Vintage
Know Quality

Level 1
Alter Taste
Analyze Drink
Cure Hangover
Intoxicate
Morrison's Next Whiskey Bar
Simple Distillation

Level 2
Bucca's Noxious Exhalation
Continual Drunkenness
Create Alcohol
Sidney's Excellent Alcohol
Sidney's Flash Fermentation

Level 3
Gorann's Rapid Intoxication
Leomund's Tiny Tavern
Mask Inebriation
Niiraloth's Random Sobriety

Level 4
Become Phantasmal Lover
Ni-Gar's Panty Peeler

Level 5
Cloud of Intoxication
Malar's Alcohol Detonation
Transmute Matter To Alcohol

Level 9
Cloud of Great Intoxication
FAE


                                Clerics


Level 1
Speak with the Intoxicated

Level 2
Create Alcohol (see mage spell)
Cure Drunkenness
Lower Alcohol Addiction
Resist Intoxication
Speed Fermentation


Level 4
Protection from Intoxication

Level 6
Transmute Water to Wine
Zone of Tolerance

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                                 Mages


Ferment Grape (Evocation)

Level: Cantrip
Type: Useful
Range: Touch
Components: S
Duration: Permanent
Casting Time: 1/2 segment
Area of Effect: 1 grape
Saving Throw: None

     By use of this spell an apprentice can convert the contents of a
grape into fermented wine. It will not change the skin of the grape so
it will keep its shape.  Used by apprentices tired of the same old food
from a teacher who do not approve of alcohol. Could also be good in an
emergency for use against alcohol sensitive monsters.


Know Vintage (Divination)

Level: Cantrip
Type: Useful
Range: Touch
Components: S, M
Duration: Permanent
Casting Time: 1/2 segment
Area of Effect: Equivalent of one bottle or less
Saving Throw: None

     By use of this spell an apprentice or wizard is able to tell what
vintage (year) of one bottle of wine/champagne. It is also possible to
tell, with a 10% chance of failure, the vineyard or winery where the
wine came from. This spell is very useful for those who are not sure
about a particular bottle of wine. A small drop of wine from the bottle
is necessary to cast the spell.


Know Quality (Divination)

Level: Cantrip
Type: Useful
Range: Touch
Components: S, M
Duration: Permanent
Casting Time: 1/2 segment
Area of Effect: Equivalent of one bottle or less
Saving Throw: None

[cloudrf]

 By casting this spell an apprentice or wizard is able to tell what
quality of wine/champagne he/she is drinking. This spell will let the
caster know by quickly flashing a color, on the surface of the drink,
corresponding to the level of quality. It will also warn of possible
poison or spoilage. The color black means pour or bad quality. The
color blue means god or average quality. A light blue means very good
and white means excellent. If the flash is black and red, look for
possible poisons. This spell was developed by apprentices who were
tired of getting pour quality wines with dinner. They also didn't
want to keep being ripped off in pubs.


Alter Taste (Alteration) Reversible

Level: 1
Range: Touch
Components: S
Duration: 1 turn / level
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: 1 pint / level
Saving Throw: None

     This spell allows the mage to give an alcoholic flavor (taste) to
any liquid. It does not turn the liquid to alcohol. It merely gives it
the taste of beer, ale, wine, mead, or liquor. Also, it only changes
the flavor and not its appearance.
     Now a mage can buy a glass of water (cheap), cast this spell, and
enjoy an alcohol flavored drink without suffering the negative effects
of swigging the real thing. A mage could also improve the flavor of a
drink. For example, cheap beer can now taste like elegant wine, but the
alcohol level is that of beer. A bad-tasting potion can now taste quite
nice as well.
     The flavor (cider, ale, wine, etc.) is chosen by the caster.
However, there is always a 100 - 10 per level percent chance of the
spell screwing up. In this case the DM chooses the taste.
     Note that since the component is only somatic the spell can be
cast easily unnoticed.
     The reverse of this spell allows the caster to remove the
alcoholic flavor of a drink, but without removing the alcohol itself.
It can also be used to restore it's normal taste to a previously
altered drink.


Analyze Drink (Divination)

Level: 1
Range: Touch
Components: S
Duration: Instantaneous
Casting Time: 3
Area of Effect: 1 drink
Saving Throw: None

     This spell requires the caster to sip a drink of any sort. The
spell will then analyze all the components of the drink and make them
known to the caster.
     The various liquids which make up the drink are revealed
specifically, as well as the proportions in which they are extant.
Specific brews, vintages, or brands (if applicable) are known exactly,
and any dilution of the drink with water is also revealed.
     Since the casting requires actually tasting the drink, it is not
really useful in safely identifying poisons (although the caster will
instantly know what kind of poison that just hit him!).


Cure Hangover (Abjuration) Reversible

Level: 1
Range: Touch
Components: V, S
Duration: Special
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: 1 creature
Saving Throw: None

     This spell enables the wizard to relieve a person of intoxication.
Once cast a person does not need to recover from intoxication or suffer
the effects of recovery. Note: It may be difficult for wizards to cast
this cantrip upon himself if intoxicated given the chance for spell
failure.
     The reverse of this spell is Cause Hangover. The mage must make a
successful attack roll to touch a person in combat. If successful, the
victim gets a hangover. Roll on Table 1, Hangover Effects Table, to get
the effects of the hangover.


Intoxicate (Enchantment) Reversible

Level: 1
Range: 100 feet
Components: V, S, M
Duration: special
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: 1 creature
Saving Throw: Neg.

     This spell allows the mage to increase a person's intoxication
state by one. Thus, a sober person would become slightly intoxicated, a
moderately intoxicated person would become greatly intoxicated, and so
on.
     The reverse of this spell will decrease a person's intoxication
state by one.
     The material component is a pint of pure alcohol.


Morrison's Next Whiskey Bar (or Tavern Locator) (Divination)

Level: 1
Range: 1 mile per level
Components: V, S
Duration: Instantaneous
Casting Time: 5
Area of Effect: Special
Saving Throw: None

     This spell is used by a mage who is looking for a good place to
have a blast and get blasted. The spell seeks out all establishments
within range and instantly gives the caster a mental impression of the
best place, with regards to its location, name, general appearance, and
taste of the mage. The spell determines which is the "best" location by
considering the following factors, in descending order of importance:
strength and quality of drinks served, wildness factor, size of bar,
and inexpensiveness. If there is no such location (at all) within spell
range, the caster must save vs. death magic or fall into a 1d4 round
coma, and emerges from it weeping but unharmed.


Simple Distillation (Alteration)

Level: 1
Range: Touch
Components: V
Duration: Permanent
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: 5 gallons per level
Saving Throw: None

     No material components. No somatic gestures. Just a complicated
guttural verbal component. Many mages have tried to reduce this spell
a cantrip. However, it doesn't seem to be possible to reduce the verbal
component enough to do this. Perhaps adding a small somatic gesture?
     Each casting halves the volume and effectively doubles the percent
alcohol in the liquid it is cast upon. The catch is that the water goes
first.  Thus, if beer containing 10% alcohol is placed in the pot, then
it will loose half its volume, but will now contain 20% alcohol. When
all the water is gone, some other liquid (juice, etc.) has to go next,
DM's choice.
     Effects are similar to Darkblood's Travel Size Distillery. In
fact, this is the spell Darkblood used in creating his distillery.
     This spell has no effect on any living being... except perhaps
water elementals. This is up to the DM. For example, the water
elemental must save vs. spell or lose half remaining hit points when
struck by this spell. Save indicates half damage or loss of fourth of
the remaining hit points. This is visibly a very powerful spell vs.
water elementals, but how many times does one see water elementals?  If
this is a problem than simply rule it doesn't effect water elemental
either, or lower the damage it causes.


Bucca's Noxious Exhalation (Alteration)

Level: 2
Range: 25'
Components: V, S, M
Duration: 1 turn / level
Casting Time: 4
Area of Effect: Cloud 10' radius
Saving Throw: Special

     As a mage who enjoyed fermenting his own brews, Bucca was totally
unaware of the odor of his own creations. Sam, as he was known to his
friends, grew tired of complaints from his friends about the rank smell
of his breath after taste testing his own brews. He designed this spell
(popularly known as Bucca's Beery Breath) to make use of his foul
exhalations, in the hope that his friends would stop complaining.
     In the casting of this spell, the mage must consume at least 100
milliliters of an alcoholic beverage, the potency of which determines
the efficiency of the spell (see below).
     In addition to drinking the alcohol, the caster leans forward and
belches loudly and from his mouth issues a stream of putrid breath,
which expands to fill a cloud of 10' radius. all within the cloud must
make a saving throw vs. breath weapons or suffer 2d4 points of damage
(1d4 if saved) and the special effects listed below (or none if the
save is made). The cloud swiftly dissipates, and is gone within four
segments of its creation. All effects of the spell including
drunkenness pass within 1 hour.